life:and:lim

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How to guarantee a woman will NEVER call you back.

This is one of the most absurd things I have ever heard.  So a friend of a coworker was hanging in SF's Marina district one night.   She was out on the sidewalk trying to hail a cab, when a guy approached and talked to her for all of  two minutes.  She hands him her business card and says "Call me."  These are two ACTUAL voicemails that this guy left on her phone. 

What kills me is that there are real guys out there like this--he's definitely not an actor.  I know I have my favorite quotes--what are yours?

Dimitri - Thestud by Coluch  

Comments (25)

Jun 27, 2008
Sanny said...

Omg. Let's see, "I'm giving you a 3 o'clock deadline," "maybe you are abused in childhood," "I'm giving you an opportunity here," "if you are on any kind of medication, I'm not interested."

Omg.

OMFG.

Priceless.

Jun 27, 2008
Stephanie Lim said...

damn, someone else beat me to the punch and posted on his site, too. http://www.holytaco.com/2008/06/27/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/

Jun 27, 2008
Stephanie Lim said...

Apparently he IS an actor. A porn star. But I don't think he was acting when he left this message. http://www.dimitrithelover.com/

Jun 28, 2008

Wow, he just laid out a contract there.

Jun 28, 2008

Of course this is a joke...has to be! "I am one of the few men in the city who has nothing wrong with him." But he was also very careful to say "I am erasing your name" so that he could not easily be accused of stalking.

Jun 29, 2008
Jane Chin said...

you gotta give it to the guy, he was proactive... but then again, relationships that are run like a business do not always survive a M&A.

Jun 29, 2008
Jane Chin said...

(P.S. you can get straight to the point with compliments on a lady without waxing poetic on yourself.)

Jun 29, 2008
Stephanie Lim said...

haha but empty compliments are def not the way to go... and this guy
apparently uses the "you're elegant" line on every woman he tries to pick
up.

Jun 29, 2008
julie said...

fucking psycho...!! need i say more... watch out girls... guys always complaining that we are the psychiotic ones... here is a prime example of the other side at it's best!!

love it!!

j

Jun 29, 2008
sko & joe said...

LOL -- Getting this from a number of friends who were quite impressed. Hope you are doing well since Beijing :)

Jun 30, 2008
Jane Chin said...

this descended from funny to scary after looking at sanny liao's link.

Jun 30, 2008
Demitri said...

3 O'clock you passive aggressive trick, call me! If you don't call me by 3 tomorrow I'm not interested in you! Even though I spent 5 hrs herearsing what I was going to say to your elegant stuck up ass!! You need to take your medication and look up passive aggressive.

Jun 30, 2008
Stephanie Lim said...

Yeah it's pretty crazy all the stuff people have been digging up on him.
Like this ridiculous radio interview:

http://blog.mattyu.ca/post/40106926/radio-interview-with-dimitri-the-lover-a-sort-of

Jul 02, 2008
Tron carter said...

This guy rules. He really knows how to talk to chicks.

Jul 02, 2008
KENNY MACH said...

I THINK IF SHE IS ON MEDICATION SHE SHOULD SHARE IT WITH HIM IW OULD SAY HIS BLOW UP DOLL HAD ENOUGH 4 MONTHS AGO THATS WHY HE IS SINGLE SEND HIM AN AIR PATCH

Jul 03, 2008
The Pink Logs said...

He's a psycho...her name is Olga. Any questions?

Jul 03, 2008
Aron said...

I am one of the other type of guy out there. I have things wrong with me not like this Dimitri guy.
I have learned a few things about girls, so if any girls out there trying avoid guys with more front than Myers like Dimitri. Email me for gentle loving with a dial to turn up the heat at your own pace.

Jul 06, 2008
GT said...

WHAT A WANKER!

Jul 06, 2008
Stephanie Lim said...

I think that comment just about sums it up.

Jul 06, 2008
Stephanie Lim said...

I think that comment just about sums it up.

Jul 08, 2008
I am Dimitri said...

Well Olga…. It’s 3:00 PM and I am out on the ledge of my building (an elegant building actually) waiting for you to return my call. Apparently you have many mental issues and do not know a real catch when you meet one. I am Greek and directly descended from Greek Gods…. (the elegant ones of course) and stupid mental dumb Olga…you are probably a test tube baby…. Instead of meeting me in the street I should have pushed her into traffic…….sigh……
Oh Olga……Olga… I am a big Greek loser and you were my last chance at dating… all my friends hate me and my parents do too….please call me back….please…..please…. ahh to hell with it…I am jumping…maybe I can hit that elegant car that is coming down the street…

Sep 16, 2008
Tabitha said...
Okay.......he's pretty conficrazy....(confident&crazy) .....This is so bluntly outdone I can't say if he's crazy or just real as it gets.
Sep 16, 2008
Stephanie Lim said...
I vote for crazy.

Jun 13, 2009
Andi Peterson said...
There's nothing wrong with him?! Uh buddy, you'd better get your ass to a Dr to get a psych evaluation cuz you've got some major issues!

Dude... get a clue.

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